Penat

Penat
Atau mungkin aku tenat
Membelah impian tinggi lanjut ke langit
Atau mungkin itu tinggal jelaga jauh terhimpit

Aku rindu hidup dulu
Rindu waktu lihat si muda Rangga dan Cinta berkecamuk di SMA
Rindu aku waktu itu
Hidup dengan masa sendiri
Tawa dan angan sendiri lihat mereka kejar cinta dan impi

Aku masih rindu
Waktu riang masa lapang
Waktu umur baru menginjak dewasa
Sebelum resah dan impian dunia menjengah
Waktu peluk emak masih sempat singgah

Dunia dewasa aku gila
Kenal manusia pelbagai rupa
Emosi dan personaliti mereka berbeza
Itelek tinggi buat mereka jelek
'Doktor' hadapan itu buat mereka itu angkuh
Konon pintar
Tapi di mata aku..mereka itu tetapnya bodoh

Aku penat
Hidup dewasa
Kenal manusia
Rupanya mereka pelbagai rupa
Ego, bongkak, angkuh
Apakan daya ini yang Tuhan rencana
Mungkin persiap aku untuk teguh
Teguh di saat pelangi itu kembali menjengah.

Buat sementara itu
Aku berserah dan masih sangat lelah-nho

Damn You

Hah!
The other day I came across the old picture of us
It struck me like yesterday to the sniff of your sweet betray
The feeling was so true that it travelled me to the time and space of  Y2K
Damn. Again It was me ..you..her and that awkward triangle

I wish you had never come to me to your dismay
at the Centre Stage of that Gig
Where Runaway Train by the Soul Asylum were on the play
I wish I had never be that fragile
To reply your 'Hei, can I borrow a pen' with my sweetest smile
But hey, you were too good to be resisted
You knocked it allIncluding me who stood there tall.

Too glad
I made my way out from the madness and thwarts
And no longer caught up in the time and space
Totally NOT missing it but just a remembrance to live which I used to have.


Damn you.

In remembrance of the funniest, silliest triangle in Y2K and  Ex-Girlfriend; No Doubt.
16 years later,
Nho

Lorde - Royals (Lyrics)

My kind of tune while working on my brain in the fresh breezy morning. Ya, the defense is around the corner and I am still working on the literature review. No complains! I love doing this so much and I am too glad that the kids are doing well even they are not 'ikhlas' and constantly 'protes' to be left behind at their moyang's house while mommy is up with cracking head doing academic write up :) Mommy loves you too much kiddos and to Natasha, thank you honey for constantly makes mommy and Dada proud of you with your flying colors result as school. I bet Nenek Arwah would be proud of you too if she was here. Alhamdulillah, Natasha's exams result keep indicating a good number since mommy stayed at home, studying while coaching her for school homework. 

In love with my life so much. Thank you Dear Almighty! -nho

Makhluk Kompleks

Aduh kadang-kadang susah nak cakap
Susah nak explain diri sendiri
Tapi itulah hakikat, susah jadi perempuan. 

Terlalu risaukan sesuatu
Terlalu fikirkan sesuatu
Terlalu ambil berat
Terlalu merancang
Terlalu menjaga, terlalu semuanya
Kompleks juga jadi tulang rusuk kiri lelaki ni.

BFF pernah cakap
Jangan seksa diri ingat benda yang pernah kita cuba lupa
Susah payah lupakan
Susah payah positifkan diri
Tapi sampai satu masa, itu juga lah yang nak digodek, itu jugalah balik-balik yang nak dibelek.

Kompleks kadang-kadang jadi makhluk penuh emosi dengan satu akal ni
Terlalu sensitif dengan apa yang ada di keliling
Terlalu sayang dengan semua
Terlalu emosi dengan apa yang tiada.

Tapi syukur sebab ada satu kantung, lahirkan makhluk-makhluk kecil yang comel
Yang muka bulat, peha gempal, leher hampir hilang dengan jari-jari gemuk yang selalu jerit...'mama..mama!'
Merekalah anugerah paling indah untuk makhluk kompleks bergelar perempuan ni dalam hidup hadapi hari-hari menjelang :) -nho

Cerita Weight Loss

Oh my! Loving this and love sharing it with all the blog reader out there or whoever yang bumped into this blog and read on my endless entries. Here a little bit of my precious one year experience of working hard and endless effort to regain the ideal weight.

Truth, I started to consume extra weight since 2008. I was still in my ideal weight during my Uni days and the 'over eating and over stuffing era' started when I started working. (guess that was a time where money comes in and since my office was in Petronas Twin Towers building, therefore the source of consuming great food was everywhere and easy!). It became worst when I got pregnant with my boy in 2009 / 2010 as pregnancy add more fat to my body and I hit the heaviest weight during pregnancy; 83kilos.

I was greatly determined during pregnancy, that these extra fats need to be shed away during confinement period by proper eating, 'bertungku', ' barut' and all the traditional stuff women usually do during pantang, but unfortunately,  nothing was within my control for I have to deliver my baby thru C-Sec due to leakage of the amniotic sac at 32 weeks.It kind of motivational downfall and shattering for me for I have to forget all the things I've planned to do during 'pantang'. So long story short, taking care of the family and managing career life were quite a troublesome for me at that point of time, further the exhaustion over endless responsibility from various obligations as mother, wife and employee has put me into somewhat depression and guess where did I turn to, to distract my stress and fatigue over my endless responsibilities? Food, off course!

I ate and turn to food for comfort. The emotions ups and down and unstable hormones has further adding up the reason to find food for distressing myself. I never feel full (kenyang). I can eat up lontong and nescafe tarik at 9am in the morning and turn to nasi ayam at 12 noon, eat kuih and teh tarik in the evening and still eating nasi goreng and sate at 9pm not to mention all the snack between meals such cendol, a slice of cakes and rojak. Worst of all, I still can feed up nasi putih and ayam bakar Wong Solo after finished up my class at 10 p.m. Yum! And the next thing I know, by the end of 2012, my body has consume 36% of fat with 75kg of weight. The symptoms of being obese has started to show as I was easily get tired, fatigue even to get up from bed in the morning and I was so lazy to play with my kids. That was somewhat a strong triggering alarm that told me this food insanity should be stopped and I need to get back my athletic figure which I used to have before married (proud to announce that I was a school athlete back then in high school)

Ever since, in the end of 2012, I start the diet regime by stop consuming carbo for 2 months, drank lots of water (4 liters a day) and pumping up my body for cardiovascular workout for 20 minutes a day, 2 times daily. In 4 months, it started to show the desired result as my weight started to drop from 75kg to 69kg. Since it has fall to 'somewhat' ideal weight, I start to consume carbohydrate again, but at a very cautious portion, exercise a healthy habit of eating by eating only when hungry and keep the meal at the size of my palm (since that's the size of our stomach) plus keep exercise regularly.

Now that almost a year going through a healthy habit of eating and regular workout, I am now lighter at 64kg. Now, my goal is not to drop more kilos but to maintain the weight, toning up muscle and shed extra 'luggage' especially at the most problematic area such tummy, inner thigh and arms. All these weight-loss achievement doesn't even cost me a Ringgit. It's just with the help of Youtube (tune in to Xhit for Victoria Secret model workout and Fitness Blender workout channels), motivation, time and eating right. Frankly now, I don't diet. I live for food and I love food but I eat at small portion and vigorously stop eating after 8pm. 

Importantly, being skinny is not the ultimate goal, but being fit is far beyond matter. -nho

October '12 with 'babat bertingkat' Lol!!

Oct '12 - 75 kilos.This pic was a turning point for me to finally realize how big I am.

November 2013- 64 kilos and still working to tone up arms, abs and inner thigh muscles.

Flying Beneath Jugra Atmosphere Again! Paragliding for My 8-years-old Gal!

Paragliding! What else do we do as the weekend hit us? As the final exam is over and few papers result shows how splendid she performed in her exam further inspired by her mommy's enthusiasm over paragliding and flying experience prior in March, this 8 years old girl took the challenge to pump her adrenalin to the new level by flying! I am so proud of my baby over her calmness and excitement to try this extreme sport, which might be the biggest fear to some adults!

This paragliding activity was supposed to be the gathering for me and my besties back in Uni days, however since some of them (most of them) are having last minute 'urgent' matter, so it left me with the Islamic Relief volunteer and my girl to para glide. Therefore, I urge Natasha to try this out and to challenge herself beside as a good training ground to build up her self-confidence.

She was the first to fly on that day with our most renowned flyer, Captain Ikhwan and she made me proud over her calmness and enthusiasm to fly. It took her only few seconds to take off and to be up in the air. She described her take off and flying are the best experience ever, to be flying next to eagles, beneath the sky and above the Straits of Malacca. Amazing! and even Saif had fun running around the hill while watching the big sister flying. We enjoyed our day so much and Tasha look forward to fly again somewhere in future. *kopak poket Dada and Mama! lol! -nho

Somebody That I Used to Know - Walk off the Earth (Gotye - Cover) -Aysima

Don't get sick of me for I am constantly put up a music video on my blog, people. I am just sharing the music that I love and I find it soothing :D I wanted to share the music video of this song by its original singer of Gotye ft Kimbra but I find this one, which were done by Walk Off The Earth is far more amazing. Enjoy! :)